so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
