508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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