and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
