the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
