my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
