Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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