I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
