Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
