it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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