Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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