I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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