this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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