Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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