oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You smell like stripper and shame
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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