ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Actions speak louder than pants.
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uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
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Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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