paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i would punch a child for taco bell
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
