I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
