He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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