You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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