I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
