Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Its my greatest physical accomplishment

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  (248): I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor (248): Its my greatest physical accomplishment http://tfl.nu/iulb
  Replies (3) Good night (1391) Bad night (588)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin

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  (830): You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin http://tfl.nu/1khj
  Replies (7) Good night (871) Bad night (1713)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.

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  (403): she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that. http://tfl.nu/e222
  Replies (11) Good night (2858) Bad night (683)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand

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  (978): During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand http://tfl.nu/wt71
  Replies (35) Good night (4251) Bad night (1515)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.

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  (616): Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up. http://tfl.nu/sgel
  Replies (132) Good night (1269) Bad night (30165)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."

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  (949): just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will." http://tfl.nu/pn0l
  Replies (35) Good night (22145) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention

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  (432): From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention http://tfl.nu/4fnt
  Replies (26) Good night (6233) Bad night (715)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.

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  (647): im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old. http://tfl.nu/1v3o
  Replies (20) Good night (666) Bad night (2938)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction

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  (724): she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with. (1-724): I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction http://tfl.nu/qhra
  Replies (35) Good night (862) Bad night (4346)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.

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  (386): Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation. http://tfl.nu/xc4n
  Replies (27) Good night (5330) Bad night (1786)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.

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  (205): Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight. http://tfl.nu/1hhy
  Replies (11) Good night (2714) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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  (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids. http://tfl.nu/27z2
  Replies (4) Good night (1408) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'

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  (509): I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?' http://tfl.nu/4a3m
  Replies (7) Good night (2039) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom

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  (802): I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom http://tfl.nu/99fe
  Replies (1) Good night (557) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.

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  (403): If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine. http://tfl.nu/ulb5
  Replies (3) Good night (514) Bad night (262)

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