I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
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He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
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Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.