We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
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Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I need a hoe opinion