is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
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I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
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Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
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How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.