Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

My room smells like vodka and shame

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(773): View more from Illinois

he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving

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(301): View more from Maryland

Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(514): View more from Quebec

in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview

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(540): View more from Virginia

there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber

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(716): View more from New York

She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.

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(618): View more from Illinois

i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.

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