Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?

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(863): View more from Florida

I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.

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(845): View more from New York

Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(517): View more from Michigan

I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.

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(208): View more from Idaho

at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.

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(210): View more from Texas

Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.

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(210): View more from Texas

DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES

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(810): View more from Michigan

Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.

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