Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(951): View more from California

yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.

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(954): View more from Florida

thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.

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The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Read it at the TFLN blog
(206): View more from Washington

I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.

(1-206): View more from Washington

You are nothing if not reliable.

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(770): View more from Georgia

He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out

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(708): View more from Illinois

he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.

(1-708): View more from Illinois

ahaha ok

(708): View more from Illinois

let's call it "werewolfing"

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(+31): View more from The Netherlands

Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.

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