My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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