I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
