Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
