i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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