2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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