Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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