I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
