I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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