god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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