sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
