grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
