I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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