pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
