I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I have demons in me.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
