So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
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I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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