Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The feeling are messing with the penis
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
