rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
