I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize