I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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