I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
