I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
