I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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