I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
