i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
