The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
