their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
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Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
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she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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