We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
