If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
