Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
