hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
