I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
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