She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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