just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
