just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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