You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
