new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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