Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I love having hate sex.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
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I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
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We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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